Purgatory

For some reason I need to describe it, this Art form he has...He places his large hands on my waist while I'm peeling the potatoes for dinner. He kisses my neck after saying, "thank you." to me for making us dinner...I spend most of my time at work or in school, but when I get free time...I spend it with him. Watching movies or having dinner. I sip my glass of wine and he downs his beers. We're into different things, but are both majoring in communications. He raps interestingly enough. I don't mind when he says, "Nigga" around me 'cause I know he's gangsta enough to get away with it. His hair always smells fucking amazing. When I sit in his lap, he wraps himself around me and lets me play with it. His hair is jet black and almost wraps itself around my fingers when I touch it. We both know we are playing a game. Coping with the bullshit, and using our company to pass the time..though mine seems more recent then his...He bought me ice cream I never got a chance to eat. I'm sure it's sitting next to the other flavor he bought for himself that I devoured. I like that he's taller than me, its not often I attract a man my age with height. He smokes too much. This boggles my mind because his hair always smells so good. I told him he must do that on purpose, because he knows how bad smoke smells. He's addicted to shoes and good music. He has the best taste in RnB and Hiphop; it makes me wanna make him an apple pie. His bed is warm and big, just like himself, and when I lay in it I fall asleep with no problems. I've never been able to fall asleep so quickly in a bed that is not my own, but for some reason his bed equals instant sleepiness. When he's not calling me 'Mami', "baby", or some other nickname that isn't my real name, he's calling me crazy. "Damn baby, you're crazy." He's said more than once. I kind of am. He teaches me how to say things in Spanish. I have a lazy tongue, I can't roll my R's. I do things purposely to make him laugh. He says I'm adorable and  thinks I have a nice ass. That makes me laugh. He said, "no really, its great." He wears a gold chain that belonged to his father. Its a cross with a little gold Jesus being crucified. I like to play with the cross, twirling it between my fingers. His father passed away and that was the one thing he got to keep. I've learned a lot about him. I've met his mother. She is a loving Latina who lights candles and babies her son to death. What mamma says goes. Its cute to see them interacting. Today I told him I think I like him. I told him that was a huge problem. I didn't want to like anyone. He said I shouldn't like him, he's a jerk. I believe him. We sipped coffee with the ice cream he bought in it. He made mine too sweet, because I'm a girl, so I asked to switch with him. He gave me his. He always let's me buy something else or switch with him when I don't like what I'm eating or drinking. I bet one day he's gonna snap and say, "NO! stop ordering stuff you're not sure you'll like. I spend a lot of money on you and we're not even dating!!" We drank the coffee while listening to his mixtape. We got hungry and found a sushi place near us that delivered. He ordered octopus, I ordered eel. I thought it was cool that our sushi choices were so unorthodox. We sat and watched movies all day. We watched a low budget film that was awesome. We watched Neil Patrick Harris in a short film that was also awesome. We watched an animated batman movie that kicked ass because Robin went nuts and was actually killing people. I pointed out one of the characters reminded me of Deadpool. He said I was so cool. We often walk around like a couple in lovey dovey. He pulls out my chair and opens doors. It's funny because there's nothing there. There is this weird void we both have. I don't believe half of what he says; he's a firm believer his last girl ruined him for life. He told me some wild story that I though was a lie. He lost his phone yet could call me. I called bullshit. Right before taking me home, he pulled out his wallet and flipped it open to the piece of paper I gave him with my number on it. I was mad..I wanted to believe he was bullshiting me. He buys me little sweet things and I smile at him. He likes my afro and wants me to pick it out. I told him that breaks off a lot of hair. I told him I wanted to flat iron it and he got excited. "ooo, I want to see that Mami." In the end, I think we are both very broken people...I wonder when it's going to fall apart....