Leaving Rye

I am leaving Rye tomorrow. This is my last night sleeping in this bed. I hope. I say I hope because I was given a key to the house to keep :-/ I was hoping I could return it and go on with my life. I will miss the kids across the street calling me "Briar" for short. I will miss the cat giving me a look as he tries to tip toe into my room and me saying "get out!" in my Arnold Schwarzenegger voice and him knowing I was serious and running off. I'm going to miss the dog turning his head sideways at everything I said to him and only listening when it benefited him. I'm going to miss the walks to the beach, playing Yu-Gi-Oh with the kid, and riding my employer's bike. I'm going to absolutely miss the warmth of my neighbors, the ones that talked to me anyways. I noticed I was well excepted by my European neighbors. The ones who liked to offer me beers and dinner. The ones who mad jokes and talked to me on a regular bases. I'm going to miss those feelings. I gracefully bid adieu to those who made my time here livable so far away from my family. without them, I think I would feel very much like an outsider--at least more than I already did. I realize a lot happened while I was here. I graduated from college, I learned how to cook certain foods from scratch, I loved and lost greatly, I created, I destroyed.... It's only been two years, but a very long and full two years it has been. I feel like it's the end of a movie or something. Like the credits are rolling and a song is playing that makes you nostalgic for what you just finished watching. I feel like whatever time has passed, has passed, and that chapter has truly ended. It's a good thing...that means I'm growing up I hope. I will embrace all of my future trials and triumphs, good and bad knowing that I spent two years of my life finding myself (pretending to anyways). Did I find myself? No, not at all, but I didn't lose myself a bit maybe. So I guess that's the moral of my story. I got intimate with who I was and embraced it, but I don't know much else or wether or not I learned from it. Maybe in the next year or so I'll learn more. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll do something with my talents. Maybe I'll die early along with my unwritten stories..... either way, I think I've gained something recently that can only be described as self acknowledgement. I'm not a little girl anymore. But I know myself better than I think I knew myself a year ago. Hopefully if there is anything to gain from my time in New York, it's that I am who I am. and that's the end of the story.....the end of this chapter anyways....so much is unwritten though....so where to next...?