Leaving Rye

I am leaving Rye tomorrow. This is my last night sleeping in this bed. I hope. I say I hope because I was given a key to the house to keep :-/ I was hoping I could return it and go on with my life. I will miss the kids across the street calling me "Briar" for short. I will miss the cat giving me a look as he tries to tip toe into my room and me saying "get out!" in my Arnold Schwarzenegger voice and him knowing I was serious and running off. I'm going to miss the dog turning his head sideways at everything I said to him and only listening when it benefited him. I'm going to miss the walks to the beach, playing Yu-Gi-Oh with the kid, and riding my employer's bike. I'm going to absolutely miss the warmth of my neighbors, the ones that talked to me anyways. I noticed I was well excepted by my European neighbors. The ones who liked to offer me beers and dinner. The ones who mad jokes and talked to me on a regular bases. I'm going to miss those feelings. I gracefully bid adieu to those who made my time here livable so far away from my family. without them, I think I would feel very much like an outsider--at least more than I already did. I realize a lot happened while I was here. I graduated from college, I learned how to cook certain foods from scratch, I loved and lost greatly, I created, I destroyed.... It's only been two years, but a very long and full two years it has been. I feel like it's the end of a movie or something. Like the credits are rolling and a song is playing that makes you nostalgic for what you just finished watching. I feel like whatever time has passed, has passed, and that chapter has truly ended. It's a good thing...that means I'm growing up I hope. I will embrace all of my future trials and triumphs, good and bad knowing that I spent two years of my life finding myself (pretending to anyways). Did I find myself? No, not at all, but I didn't lose myself a bit maybe. So I guess that's the moral of my story. I got intimate with who I was and embraced it, but I don't know much else or wether or not I learned from it. Maybe in the next year or so I'll learn more. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll do something with my talents. Maybe I'll die early along with my unwritten stories..... either way, I think I've gained something recently that can only be described as self acknowledgement. I'm not a little girl anymore. But I know myself better than I think I knew myself a year ago. Hopefully if there is anything to gain from my time in New York, it's that I am who I am. and that's the end of the story.....the end of this chapter anyways....so much is unwritten though....so where to next...?

There Must Be More Than This Provincial Life!

It's finally happening. I'm moving into my own place (sorta) this Friday. I'm excited. My mom said I need to stop coming off as so happy to not be working for this family anymore--as a nanny for those who don't know-- but I don't think it's that at all. I think it's excitement from finally being a 20-something in New York City, or any city for that matter. So far I've either been living in a Dorm, with my parents, or with this family that I work for. I had more free time living with my family then I do now. I had responsibilities. WELL!!!! no more!Well, no more child-wise. I need this. I'm such a baby face and a dependent person. I want to be poor, not like when I was in college, but having fun. I want to go to work, get off and have a drink with friends. I want to wake up and write some things, take a walk, do some yoga, catch up with people at a pastry shop, have dinner gatherings, not care about whether the laundry is done or not. I want to plan trips around the country and around the world and backpack or just visit and take pictures. Sure, I'm pretty sure I have high hopes and it's not going to be anything like that, but I want the experience none the less! I just want something more. Can I quote a Disney Movie? "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell!" :D that's right, Beauty and the Beast up in this piece.

Ciao bell(e)as.

I Dream...

Of strange things. Lately, I've been dreaming of epic stories I need to tell from the depths of my imagination. This is only if I fall asleep though...I've been having trouble sleeping. I took a benedryl twice this week...took one 30 minutes ago and nothing...I'm not sure whats haunting me at night (lies) but...I wish it would find its way back into its little box that will manifest itself as a tumor sometime later I'm sure.

Cranky Pants

I was stressed before but now I'm just annoyed and pissy. I would like to blame it on PMS if I could but I'm not sure I can. I just want to blow up kittens, kick pigeons, and throw the ice cream cones of little kids on the ground and stomp on them until the dirt and treat melt into one. Half of me is pissed because I'd like to just go home now. Another part is a bit annoyed that my friends say I never contact them, though they never contact me either, but when I do give em a ring, they never answer. Contact is a two way fucking street. Still, not having a job and having to find an apartment as well I'm sure isn't helping. I'm going to meditate, because last night I couldn't sleep with all this anger wrapping me up. I wish I was four-years-old again, so I could have a temper tantrum and get it out of my system (if that's what a temper tantrum really does).

Oh. I might also be pissed because the guy I was talking to pissed me off weeks ago and we haven't talked since. No sincere apology. How are you going to ask me out then stand me up and be like oh, well. sorry I guess, anyways. You suck dude! and I'm mad because I want to tell him he sucks but that would mean me having to contact him. Again, I'm the only one contacting anyone. I'm not his fucking slave! I shouldn't have to do everything *anger rising for reasons unknown* .... I better go meditate now.... I have things to do today.

X-Men: First Class Review (SPOILER)

That was my face 10 minutes in.

Oh my where do I start with this movie. Unfortunately, I am very behind on doing this review. I meant to do it at least a month ago to save people from watching it. Alas, times are hectic and I became busy. But I decided I will still do a review of this uh....wondrous movie.

Let me begin by saying that Kevin Bacon IS: evil! That should have been on the poster. He was so unnecessarily evil, and maybe because I am a Bacon fan and haven't seen him in a while, it came off as kind of cool in my opinion. Kudos to them for receiving any type of positive feedback from me, because it's all down hill from here

Let's see. Mystique has to be one of the pudgiest characters in the movie, I almost mistook her for the blob. Nothing against the girl playing her, I myself am a little round around the edges, but I think it would have done well if she was pudgy as a child and not as a teenager with body image issues.

That guy who reminded me of Ron Weasley, you know the one with the hair? That's all I'm going to even say about him.

I love that Charles Xavier was an adamant runner before his accident. It made him loosing his leg function--and if you see the scene where he says over and over again, "I can't feel my legs" it make me wanna laugh--kinda cheesy. I wonder if that counts has a positive comment because it made me laugh?

The whole Beast prequel doesn't match the rest of the movies. Beast was very blue and epic in the X-men: Last Stand movie. Grammer was a hell of a beast. I can't remember which previous movie he was in, but before he wasn't blue and furry, he was just an advocate for mutant rights. So for him to be fully mutated in the prequel...yeah let's just say WTF man.

Surprise surprise, the black guy dies first. Not only does he die first, but before biting the dust, Bacon, while making a particularly evil speech, makes a comment about slaves. This is when the director thought it would really push the point home if they zoomed in on the lone black guy, as if he personally knew what slavery was like. Again, this part made me laugh. Then he dies. in fact, he's the only good guy who dies.

My other other favorite part is the renaming of all the characters. "You know what, your name is XYZ, but your power makes me think your more of a Wammy! X-men name the viewer has come to love." It was campy and cheesy to come up with these "code names" so quickly and effortlessly.

Of course you have to throw in Hughes Jackman. If you don't how will he ever finish fulfilling his contractual duties? And whose that lady who plays Mystique in the first one? I always forget her name, but yeah, she makes a star appearance too.

In the end, if what you seek is a terribly written, poorly acted out prequel then by all means, if you haven't already, waste your money on this. Luckily for me, my ticket was paid for. THANK EVIL BACON FOR THAT! phew!

Stressed

Yep, for once my title is pretty much straight forward. I'm a bit stressed. Not like a few months ago with school and work. I'm stressing finding work and a place to live and the list goes on in those direction. I'm stressed because a certain person (who I'm not related to) keeps trying to push me out to California. She literally looked up jobs in burbank and said, " So...did you ever do this type of search?" No....well I told her yes so she would come off it...truth is I've already made up my mind. I want to stay in NYC for the time being. It's nothing against California, I love California. I want to move out there one day. But I don't think I had that New York experience as a nanny who can't be out past 4pm everyday.

I want to be able to take care of myself. Rent in New York is stupid expensive. I've been looking in Jersey just because of that reason. Things are cheaper but then I wonder about how the transit thing is going to work out. Will that make my monthly bills go up?

I met this awesome guy with these two awesome rooms for rent in this awesome area... but I don't think it's going to work out. My friend whom I wish to share the apartment with still lives in Georgia. The guy want to meet my friend or at least have a skype first, and my friend doesn't have any sort of access to skype. Sigh...and obviously I'm not the only one wanting to see the apartment so if he feels its a good fit with someone else. he's going to give it to them.

Back to the job thing...how do you find a career when no one is willing to give you that first chance to? Everyone wants 2 years of experience, and if I would have known ahead of time what I was going to be graduating with, I would have attempted internships two years ago.  I just would like to find a job making enough money to buy a shit-hole of a place in a safe neighbor hood close enough to the city so I can have a good time when I'm not working. I'm pretty sure that's WAY too much to ask...but how about this: a job that pays enough for me to pay my bills so I can have a post-grad broke life for a year or so. Is that still too much to ask for??

Bree-Bree's Biscuits via I Just Like to Eat Blog

 recently spent time in Spain visiting a good friend of mine. We had a lovely time! One night we made biscuits to bring to a dinner party we were attending. Here is the link to my recipe via my friend's blogsite. enjoy. We did.

http://ijustliketoeat.blogspot.com/2011/06/bree-brees-biscuits.html