So it has finally happened. The weeks that were blowing by have finally started to creep. Very slowly. Half of this is a good thing. Senioritits is a real disease. I have been trying to fight it, but I'm losing the battle. So for the pace to finally slow down means I can work on all those last minute projects I was "working" on all semester. Half is horrific. I feel like I'm never going to reach graduation; like time is going to continue creeping slower and slower until it stops completely. The truth is...I'm tired of my job. It is unnecessarily stressful. And there are a lot of aspects of it that I don't want to be a part of. I try to cut my ties emotionally because whenever I take on the emotions of those around me, I'm pretty miserable. I seem to be miserable regardless. I'm pretty tired of childcare. And I'm good for another 10 years when it comes to baring my own.
I keep having weird dreams about my ex-boyfriend. Not like him wearing a clown mask and having sex with a dog weird (pause for awkward thought processing from my readers) ....but more like him sitting near by. like....I'm somewhere, hes in the same room. We just ignore each other. But at the same time we are all pissy. We know we are both there. I've had three different dreams that involve him sitting either across from me and me looking some place else, or on a row of chairs beside me and me...uh, looking some place else. These dreams have me thinking about him during the day...like what he's doing and other things I should probably not think about. I'm not depressed about the thoughts...I'm upset I'm even having them. But I'm sure the real reason behind it is (drum roll)....
...I'm single and yes I mingle. I could mingle more but...I feel weird talking to more than one person at once. I was never a fan. Sure, we all have liked maybe two people at the same time, but..I'm just weird. I guess I type all this to say...that I'm not interested....85 percent of the time. Yet someone has that 15 percent right now and its driving me crazy. I'm not sure where it is going, if it is going, or what. I just know I'm good about making a huge deal out of these sort of things. I dunno...I guess I'll just ride the wave out right?
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