Things are really changing around these parts. When I say this I mean new digs, new relationships, new way of thinking...and of course, new anxieties. I'm starting to think you can't have one without the other. In my life I'm learning that I spend a lot of time wishing and hoping for things and doing other things that just don't seem to go well together.
I'm being pretty vague here, mostly because I don't think I even know what I'm talking about. I have a new apartment and I enjoy being able to close my door and have my own space. I'm closer to the city, I'm closer to the train, and closer to fun things in Queens. Oh, and closer to my beau. But being so close to everything is starting to make me claustrophobic. When things are going too well I begin to panic. When I start to get close to people or things I start feeling like I'm being smothered. It's probably just a defense mech but believe me, I could do without. I had such an overwhelming feeling of trust and happiness recently...and once it was confirmed by both parties I began to question if It was a real feeling at all. Hows that for being vague huh? Like how I did that.
Anyways, things are moving along. I think I'm going to sign this lease for a year and just deal with the loud train passing by every few minutes and take pleasure in my shopping therapy sessions that end in new shoes every month. Because somewhere in the world, that's kind of what life really is. (trains and shoes??)
food for thought.
Trains, shoes AND food!
ReplyDeleteLol. Anyway, I understand your anxiety about when things are going too well. Happens to me quite a bit. I guess all you can do is take it one day at a time. Hope for the best but still concentrate on the goals that you'd like to achieve. Nice to see you've updated. Catch ya laters, chica. And congrats on your new apartment. :)