Was There Ever?

I don't think I understand completely the magnitude of all of my actions. I often find myself wanting to "be in the know" almost all the time only to cringe at the knowledge I've gained. Such is the way of life. I had a dream where the sky turned to night and the stars began to swirl. I think it was the end of the world or something, but it ended with me feeling so much comfort from the thought of a fresh start, a new beginning-- even if I wasn't a part of it.

That's a sick thought for most. But I don't really think so. I think that's a noble one. To want to start over again from scratch. Can you imagine what the world would be like? If every couple of hundred of years everything just restarted? kind of like a giant worldwide reincarnation. What if that's what keeps happening: a mass reboot of the earth to try and get it right before reaching nirvana. My goodness, with thoughts like this, I could be the next L. Ron Hubbard (with better fashion sense, even for me).

I think it is more of me wanting to believe that we, humanity, can have a fresh start. Life would be so much easier with a restart button. or better yet a strategy guide-- walk through if you will. But life isn't a video game. Yet....

I want to be where he is. He as in that timeless beauty that is God; that amazing champion of all that is pure and good in this world. I want to be that pure. I want to be that flawless. I want to have that vision, see clearly what was and is and will be. I want to find that nirvana within myself, that plane of complexity that has formed up until the dying days of earth causes a rejuvenation of its surfaces and ocean ways.

Peace of mind. Mind at peace.