Golden Casket Burials From My Childhood

I used every resource imaginable in order to take a nap today. It only lasted 25 minutes, but in that time I dreamt of my childhood.

I remember on cool fall days, usually deep into November, playing  outside at night  regardless of how often I saw my breath cascading clearly in front of me. Often times I would be with my brothers, cousins, or a combination of both. I always loved being outside at night, especially when the moon rose high and round and i could play with it shaping my hands around it hiding it behind trees, and dancing beneath it. One particular night stands out among the others: It was Thanksgiving night and as usual the deliciousness shared among families across the country, turkey, yams, collard greens, and home style mac and cheese, were not ready yet. As was 'tradition' in my family, we ate late because we began late, because we cooked late. I didn't learn until i grew much older that people began eating their heavy dinners some time around 4 or 5 pm, while my family once (or maybe even thrice) ate well past midnight. And on this particular night my siblings, cousins, and I played outside past 7 o'clock. Again, being that it were November, the leaves had all fallen from the trees and began to crunch beneath your feet; I remember them, gold and brown, huge and curling in on themselves, maple leaves from the surrounding trees on the plot that was then my Aunt's house. and we ran about collecting those beautiful little treasures some of us in masses, some of us carefully one by one, until a pile began to grow. And we would each take turns laying in that pile while being buried by our great treasures at the hands of family. This is about where my dream replays this little token of my past. Laughing and laying on top of the harden cold ground with a layer of crinkly crunchy leaves and covering your eyes and nose and mouth so not to get leave bits inside them. And my cousins would giggle and my brothers would laugh and i was completely covered by leaves of all sorts. And much like my memory believes, I sit and try to look through that pile of leaves silent and smiling, no longer covering my eyes but peering out to see the moonlight break through the leafy barrier, to reach me and sit underneath in complete tranquility. I remember no warmth really being produced by the leaves but they still made for a good shelter from the cold. I remember we would wait a bit and burst forth from the leaves, siting upright or jumping out of the pile in its entirety with a roar of laughter choosing whom will be next to be 'buried alive' in leaves. But this afternoon as I dreamt of my turn, I remember smiling through the leaves and seeing clearly through them up at the branches of a bare tree, behind which a full moon hung low in the sky. I smelled the earth and leaves mixing around me, and i felt the cold ground beneath me. and i continued peering through those leaves with the laughter of my cousins and brothers fading and the sounds of the night taking their place. and i felt comfort. Again, a little shelter it became and it was as if the ground lost its frigidness and the space I occupied, infinite. and I closed my eyes happy as a clam to be underneath that pile of leaves, the pretty gold and yellow ones were so soft, the brown ones so warm. And I woke up. I almost fell completely out of my bed  from the blaring alarm I had set an hour and a half earlier (that is how long it took me to doze off), how stiff I had become in a 25 minute nap, but after obtaining a total of 2 hours the night before I assumed my body slept hard for those few minutes. I remembered my little flashback/dream and wondered why, unlike within my memories, I had elected to stay in that pile of leaves for eternity. I do remember way back then, not popping out immediately like my lovely family members. There was something about nature I adored, but even more, something about laying beneath the leaves I found amazing, within my control, and serene. This memory is not a passing one, I've  thought back of it times before, especially during fall when piles of leaves begin to stack up along the sidewalks and throughout our neighbor's yards. However, it was a first time I ever dreamed of it. I don't remember half the things my brothers do from our childhood when we are all together talking about them, but I remember piles of leaves. I remember cat sanctuary. I remember the hidden plains that took you to bushels of honey suckles, and I remember exploring the creek in the back yard (against the wishes of our parents and our better judgment as chlildren). These things I hold dear, because other things I remember involved me often in too deep of thought for a child and inexplicably sad.  I do wonder what that pile of leaves represents in my mind's eye and why I cherish it so deeply. Perhaps that night we ate early (which would be a Thanksgiving miracle) or, perhaps, it represents something very deep, my little sanctuary within my child brain . I'm not sure. All I know is after shaking the stiffness away and really waking up, I stared out the windows at the little gold leaves that had recently fallen from the trees out front. Since I am not in Georgia, they are something other than maple, but bold and pretty non the less. I looked upon those leaves with a heavy need and/or wish to curl beneath them once again. My childhood version of Heaven.

Can't Stop Won't Stop

Its starting to get hard to keep up with my blogging. In the month of September, I only was able to post twice, and those were special addition ones. However, I'm writing more now than I ever was before. Its just all school related. Perhaps I need to learn to manage my time better lol...Truth is I waste a good amount of time doing nothing. At least thats what it feels like. I need to stay off of Facebook. I don't do anything but sit and wait for *insert person's name here*. But its not only that. I scour the internet in search of answers to 'life's' annoying little questions: "whats the different between jam and jelly?" "How to make bread crumbs" "Hm...If I wanted to fly to Guam On October 17, 2012, it would be $346.00 dollars huh..Wonder how much for Fuji Island...." Needless to say I waste a lot of time wasting time. So why don't I write while I'm wasting all of this time? I'm not sure why yet. Probably because while I'm wasting time I should be doing homework, and while I should be doing homework I need to being doing my job, and while I''m doing my job I'm day dreaming of story ideas. Needless to say (once more) I'm pretty ass backwards. But I can't help it, its just the way my mind works. I've been breeming with creative juices for the past few weeks and yet have not given a second to writing them out. I just don't know how to organized my time and my thoughts. Though the fact that I consistently think and rethink, and change and remember it all is amazingly great. that way when I do take a second out of my non busy day, The idea is never lost. My greatest fear (and its an honest to God one) is that I will haphazardly and prematurely die before all of these wonderful Ideas are written out. I'm sure that may seem unusually morbid, but alas, this is actually something I think about. So In short, I, Brianne Glover, shall try my very best to write more for pleasure. I really want to publish within the next two years! (buuutttt, don't expect me to put any real EFFORT into that...*but what if I actually do*) Plot Twist!

Ciao Baby!