I Need To Write More

I need to write more.


So I'm trying to. Even if I have nothing to talk about, or anything in particular I want to write. I need to make it a point to write more. At least 30 minutes a day. Hopefully this will lead to something. Im unsure what. I know I'm a talented writer. So I should make use of said talent.

This Is New

I've been dating J___ going on 6 months now. Though it's not an amount of time I've ever considered long, I--actually we, feel like it's been forever. It's not too strange when you think about it though. We knew each other for at least 3 years prior to dating.

Upon further thought I realized how easily we sank into each others lives. We have this crazy ying and yang effect that I'm finding really hard to ignore. It's a strange yet nice feeling. I've seen how happiness with someone in the first few months has played out way too often with friends so I gotta say I'm not interested in rushing it. I can't help wonder though where this will take me. Either way I'm enjoying the ride. Slow and steady wins the race.

He makes me laugh, but more than that; he makes me giggle uncontrollably, like a child would if being tickled (embarrassingly enough). He kisses me everywhere: my hands, my shoulders, even my feet. I would say he has successfully planted a kiss on every part of my being, including my mind and soul. When he embraces me he breathes me in and tells me how wonderful my scent is. Even when my hair smells of chlorine after I've come back from the pool, he comments on the loveliness of my pheromones. When he touches me, he remarks on how soft I am, how wonderful it is to be near me.

He is strong and of good build. His voice is deep with gravelly hints, but not so much to take away from it's sweetness. It's appealing to my ears.

Geez it's embarrassing to say, but... as masculine as he is, he amazes me with his gentleness.

We're both emotional people so we take turns falling apart. Sometimes when it's my turn he wraps himself around me and soothes me with his words; those words calm in such a way that all I can do is believe him. So I do.

Today was one of those word-soother days. He looked at me and asked if I'd been crying. I hadn't, but I had been holding it back, which was apparent from the tears in my eyes it seems. Before my face even had the chance to crumble he slid in bed with me and held me close. He used so many words, some of which he said before, but today he said something different and it stuck with me: You're a beautiful woman. Both inside and out.

less than a minute later he repeated, "You're a beautiful woman."

Him calling me beautiful is not a strange thing, in fact whenever he does say it I quite enjoy it. But this was different. I watched him intently as he spoke: his eyes, the seriousness in his expression, his hand stroking my arm lightly to comfort, I watched him. And in that moment I believed him completely. And now that the moment has passed I still believe him.

Outside of family, I don't think I've ever had someone say that to me and fully believed they meant it. Both the beauty and being a woman part.

This is new.

I like it.