People are going to believe what they want to believe. No amount of common sense or conversation will change that. I didn't speak my peace, he wouldn't let me, but I tried to and that's what matters.
8 years is a long time to be in a relationship with someone you're NOT in a relationship with. I'm 200 lbs lighter today than I was yesterday. It hurts like a motherfucker, but our paths are no longer leading in the same direction, and we have to do what's right for us; separately. I really want nothing but the best for him. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
I'm not mad. He wants to believe I am; he kept saying so last night, but I'm not. I'm just terribly sad about the way it ended. About the situation as a whole. It's very hard to let him go.
I have never loved anyone as much as I've loved him. I thought I might have, but I've realized over the past year I haven't. I've tried to, but I haven't.
We're just two different people.
After all of this he still wanted to marry me. This is what scares me about marriage. People grow apart. People change over the years. How am I suppose to commit to someone who might not be their in 5 years? How can I try and make a life with a person who might grow into another person all together.
*Sigh* It's maddening.
